Public speaking scared me almost to death

Public speaking scared me almost to death

By: Abraham Daljang Maker

It was in mid June 2006 at exactly 8:00am when my English teacher called me to his office. Mr. Mazu John who was the head of Literature and English class in the school wanted me to be part of the inter-school debate. “Abraham, we have chosen you to take part in tomorrow’s inter-school debate.” He said.  I lowered my head because I had never appeared in public speaking and I had no idea of how to do it. As he gazed at me to hear my answer, I had a debate in me. Can I go? Can I go...?  I eventually looked up and I saw him still looking at me, I folded my lips and I struggle to hold back the tears. “Okay sir, I will go,” I replied.

 “Good boy, you will be the second main speaker, so get ready and by lunch time we shall be on our way.” He said. The motion of the debate was (advance technology has great advantage in today’s world)

   I quickly left his office and ran to a nearby bush in order to do rehearsing, I stood among the trees   I purported to be the speaker and trees were my audiences. I straighten by invisible necktie and tried to speak. “Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is….. I am opposing the motion that advance technology has done more harm…..” I kept on repeating this phrase for several hours. It was already 1:00pm and it was time for lunch but I didn’t notice that, instead I was busy practicing. As I continued with my practice, but my friend Anguyo Richard called me. “Mr. Trees’ preacher, can you come for lunch so that we go for the debate?” I swiftly ran to the dormitory to pick my plate but I was late, the line was already long and most of my colleagues who were going for the debate with me were served. I stood at the tail of a very long queue and we had about 20 minutes to go. Fortunately, a prefect on duty came and helped me to skip the line and I served. I took about three lumps of food and time was already against me.

I quickly put on the school uniform, and red neck-tie, nicely polished black shoes. We jumped onto a school truck, with metallic bars above our heads which we used to support ourselves while standing. There were light afternoon showers that day, we were very many in the truck; packed like goats, people were sweating but mine was the opposite, I was very cold and even started shivering. A friend of mine saw me and gave me his coat to put on but it was like a cold ice. Students were chanting with a lot of singing and shouting but I was quiet, all I was imagining was how will I start the talk. I kept on rehearing, I was in my own world; in my day dream, I saw myself being appreciated for the nice talk. There came Aguyo Richard again, “Abraham, look! Look!” But I didn’t hear anything until he struggled to push his way in the truck to where i was standing, he came and touched my shoulder and said, look the school is near. I woke up from my day dreaming and I saw many students were waiting for us singing. We were to meet in a single school, (girls’ school); our opponents had not yet arrived. We were received by the school head prefect and took us to a very large main hall where we were to attend the debate. We hardly sat down when we heard our opponents making noise as they approach the hall.

Alas! My shivering increased terribly, they were ushered in to take up their seats. The debate was opened by the patron, and the real war now had to begin. I was totally lost in thought, imitating how to pose when it will be my turn; I was awfully quaking in the chair almost falling down. Marble Rebecca who was one of the participants from my school sat next to me. She was a big girl who was in Advanced levels, when she saw my woe; she gently put her hand on my shoulder and whispered, “Calm down Abraham, you will be alright.” I glanced at her and I saw from her beautiful eyes the sense of comfort and at the same time sympathy. She rested her hand on my shoulder to ensure that I was not trembling so much but that didn’t help me. readers, I was in in senior four that time, a candidate moreover who was preparing to sit exams and join Advanced levels.

“Second main speaker from Vurra secondary school, can you come and oppose the motion?” the voice called. Marble released her hand and whispered again, “good luck my brother.” I stood up straight, touch the base of my neck-tie and then began to speak. All the words that I have been rehearsing had totally disappeared in my brain and my mind went blank, my tongue was totally dry and very heavy like a piece of wood in my mouth. I felt as if I had no legs at all, instead I felt as if had only one leg. I stopped shaking but I sweated profoundly, all my clothes were soaked.

I started to oppose the motion, I thought I was standing but I was slowly walking nervously and aimlessly on the stage. I was just stammering and no single word came out. All of a sudden, there came a scary voice “point of inquiry Mr. Speaker!  Is it allowed for the speaker to stand nervously and even face his back to the audiences?”  I adjusted well and started again, before I open my mouth again, the crowd looked too big and my legs were failing me each second and time was elapsing. The eyes of the audiences looked like one big ball which was gazing at me. Before I realized it, I moved towards the officiating officers but I was interrupted by another inquiry. I was doing all these unconsciously, it was time for me to leave the stage, but I had not said a single point at all. The bell rang twice, “Time up Mr. Speaker, can you summarized your points?” this was a reminder form time keeper. I thanked the time keeper inwardly for saving me, I then said, “With all these points that I have mentioned. I want to stress that Advance technology has done more harm than good.” Before I move away, the crowd cheered me up as I advanced to take up my seat, but many people wondered what points have I mentioned apart from just being nervous.   Rebecca murmured to me and said, it was nice but you will improve next time. But inside me, I was telling her that I will never do it. She also went and did her part perfectly being a good speaker; people cheered her whenever she mentioned a point. I clapped for her too but wondered why God didn’t grant me the same talent.

At the end of the debate, our school emerged a loser and we could not qualify for final debate. As we move out of the hall, everyone was flattering me “well done Abraham, but you will do it well next time.” Anguyo Richard vexed me the more, he came and said.

 “I like you today because you were preaching to trees thinking that you will address people like trees, you also started shivering as if you were in Russia or Germany during the winter, and I wonder how you would feel if this debate was done on winter in Germany? And on the stage, you stood nervously like a dog which has seen a hyena and you even sweated as if you were in steam bath.” He said all these in a few minutes.

 I wanted to smash his face but he was very giant boy who could send me to ground with only one punch. So I kept quiet, he patted me on the back and said “take it easy old boy, you will make it next time.” As I write this piece, the whole episode is still lingering in my mind, well, there were a lot of public speeches that I made but the former was so horrible and scary.

In September 2014, I am expected to present and defense my research/dissertations as a requirement for the award of my master degree in development studies in October 2014. Though there will be many professors and doctorate persons, I will not feel the same way I did a few years ago.