I had to plead or else I would get slapped or go to police cell.

I had to plead or else I would get slapped or go to police cell.

By: Abraham Daljang Maker

It has never crossed my mind that one day I had to beg for mercy for having not stood up when a leader shows up. However, I had to do it for my own safety and thank God that I never went in or got slapped.

I was attending one of the important events where a leader of that territory was going to be a chief guest. Being south Sudanese, I always remain very conscious about honouring people and I am always ready do it for my own safety because I know my countrymen/women like to be adored wherever and whenever they passed. It is not a new experience for me to call people “banydit/Zolkabiir” meaning Sir or “Big leader” if you want literal explanation. I also greet people with two hands to show them that they are big and I am small, that makes them feel great. The reason for my consciousness is because I am well aware that my people like being revered to make them feel good and feel big for that matter. But I didn't know what happened to me that day.

Well, the function did not start yet but children and elderly plus idlers gathered because they were attracted by the public address system. I was sitting somewhere with two other gentlemen, my usual simplicity in dressing came over me that day too. I dressed in a tight jeans and a faded T-shirt, not because I had nothing nice to wear but I just did as I pleased. As tinny as I am, I looked like any other ordinary boy in the street of that town headquarter.

The leader showed up unexpectedly with his vehicle, flag waving on car. He passed by the three of us who sat under a tree and rushed to the big tree where the function was about to take place, The car raced in small compound and came to halt raising the dust like mammoth of elephants on dusty path. The children and elderly never stood up.   To me, it seemed normal not to stand up since others never did. Oh! I was wrong; the Big Man jumped off his car immediately and rushed towards us pointed his finger towards us menacingly followed by a policemen closed behind him. I sensed the danger and told my colleagues to stand up with me. The leader stood right in front of my nose; raged with anger, eyes turned scarlet. He would turned red too if he were a white man, maybe he turned pale, let’s leave how he turn because that was his affairs not mine.

I was calculating my mind to find the right word that could quench his anger. “Why didn't you stand up when you saw me coming? Were you expecting a white man to come so that you stand up?” he asked. As fast as I could, I was the first to answer because I was going to be the first victim of arrest or deserve a slap if any of us made a mistake of not answering appropriately. I was not also sure if I had the right answer in mind that would avert his anger but I tired though. I opened my mouth with two hands held together like someone ready for the warship. In fact, I stood with my hands held against my chest like Mary Immaculate, the mother of our Lord Jesus interceding to his Son and the Father for us sinner. “We are terribly sorry SIR, we never meant any harm or any contempt to you. Please Sir, forgive us,” I pleaded. “So you only need to stand up when you see a white man, if you don’t respect us who else will you?” he asked authoritatively with his voice trembling with anger.  I didn't know why he brought the issue of a white man in that matter when we were all blacks, not even brown man/woman was present. I again replied with my hands still held tight on my chest. “Please Sir, you are our leader, we cannot respect white man other than you, please accept our apologies,” I went on beseeching the more. May be I was too coward or maybe I was helping myself and my colleagues from being thrown in for some minutes; I had to do this although I was well aware that it was not such great offense.  But you never know what constitutes a great offence in this country because anything you may think is a slight mistake can earn you a good punch or a few lashes. The leader forgave us or maybe he laughed inwardly for having exercised his power to the extent of making a young man beg for forgiveness or maybe he felt good at last for being beseeched.

I was right, because I got informed later that we were lucky because he would throw us in for sometimes or he would slap one of us. Maybe we were lucky or maybe I begged too much or it could be that he was at his right mood on that day; perhaps the combination of all the above. I am not sure which one surpassed that other, possibly begging worked out well. Having seen him walking away brought sight of relief, I breathed in deeply to adjust my lungs which I thought must have been disorganised. I began to curse myself for having begged that much, I also wondered why I didn't stand up when I have always been cautious about our leaders right from my childhood.

 What was I really thinking? Could I have been thinking about my girlfriend? I was just staring at no particular direction and my thoughts were not really fixed at a particular issue. Honestly, I was staring vacantly without much concentration on specific issue, my colleague who sat next to me was also doing the same, looking somewhere but his eyes were not also fixed on something serious. Maybe he was thinking about his family somewhere in Nairobi or Kampala who might be in need of money but since US dollar has become scarce in the country, he must have been calculating the cost of buying a dollar, or maybe not exactly as I thought. I am not quite sure whether I read his mind correctly, but he was just looking absent minded like me. Another young man who sat with us and who happened to be one of the residents of that locality was relaxed but I don’t know why he did not alert those of us whose minds were absent on family or love issues or “thinking about no serious issues.” But why didn't we stand up really? He was right, we should have done that to show him that we respect him. 1000%, he was perfectly right and we were totally 200% wrong, if not then what a hell were we doing sitting idly gazing emptily thinking about lover, family or thinking for nothing at all?

At least we eased our tension since the leader had gone back to his office, we expected him to return in a minute to attend the very function. However, I was now prepared for his second coming, I have realised why we are all preparing for Jesus’ second coming. Save for Jesus’s second coming because he is merciful and he can still forgive us although he was cruelly crucified on that deadly cross on the mount of Calvary. But for this particular leader, I had to wait with my hands on the armchair in case he showed up again unexpectedly when my thoughts are back to my lover or to nothing serious. But sincerely, does that make any difference? Whether we stood up of not, he remains a leader and he deserves all the respects from us the ordinary members of the society. Our tendency of not standing up would make no difference at all or would our remaining sitting change anything. But he was right and we were wrong as it is always the case with superior and inferior relationship. In any case, we did not mean harm or did we intend to do this intentionally but just that we were taken up by something we could not ascertain.

Well, our leader came back this time for the ceremony and I was the first to stand up when he showed up and also the last to sit down. All I needed was not to face the anger again or else this time around would mean something else because no one can forgive twice or thrice except Jesus and his father who said they can still forgive even if you sinned seventy seven times. Something not easy for any human being, not even I can forgive someone more than I expect. But if I were a leader, I would see not standing up for me to be such a serious matter. Anyway, I might be worse than him because my adrenaline would easily poured in my blood but I won’t really mind whether you address me sir or not, stand up or remain sited but all I know, I could still be a leader.

Okay, next time I don’t have to plead because I will do as they want, not as I think.

Au reviour!