Arrogance and war minded, the birthmarks on South Sudanese
Arrogance and war minded are the birthmarks of
South Sudanese
Published 5/25/2016.
By: Abraham Daljang Maker Jr
You won’t realise how your house is messed up
until you step aside! If you are a south Sudanese who has one day stepped out
of the country, you must have heard some of these words.
After a few minutes of turbulence in the air
which would rearrange your intestines and make your bowel almost throw in the
towel in despair, the plane finally touched the ground at Jomo Kenyatta
International Airport. Behind the immigration desk in the arrival lounge,
there was this face which I first mistook to be of a beautiful woman. But, gosh!
It is a man, a beautiful man; describing him as a handsome man would be an
underrated remark. With a cheerful smile, he stamped my passport and waved me
off. At the exit door, this woman was holding a large placard in her hand with
the inscription of my name in large letters; how on earth did she get my full
name written correctly? Anyway, I extended my hand to greet her, and she held
mine while telling me her name, which I immediately forgot as soon as she
released my hand. She is a cab driver who was asked to pick me up from the
airport, with a few stealthy glances at me, which I would see at the corner of
my eyes; the driver broke the silence and started narrating how South Sudanese
are all over the city. She explained how arrogant some of them are, especially
her neighbours, who would turn small quarrels among the neighbourhood children
into big fights involving adults. “Your people are so rude; some of them here
would start fighting with natives, not knowing they are in a foreign land,” she
asserted. I was tongue-tied; all I did was gazed into the blank space like a
goat lost in thinking where and when to munch a few blades of grass. What
occupied my mind was the famous dictum which says that “a cock cannot crow in
the neighbour’s house”, but these hens and cocks are crowing loudly in their
neighbour’s house, which I think is a wrong idea.
As I said, the mess in your house won’t be
visible until you leave. Yet, here I am, seeing how messy my country looks outside.
Every time I interact with Europeans, Asians, Americans, Australians, and
Africans, I would see empathy and contemptuous faces whenever I tell them that
I am from South Sudan. Some would say they are sorry about what happened in my
country and to my people, while others would ask me why we were fighting again
after the separation. Some of them sympathise genuinely, while others do it for
the sake of doing it. This has made me develop a defensive mechanism so that
whenever I meet with people, I involuntarily introduce myself and immediately
start explaining to them that the war is over. The peace now prevails with the
Transitional Government of Unity (TGONU) in place even when no one asked to explain.
But I would see them saying, “Who cares about your TGONU when you have already
messed up your lives and the country.” They don’t communicate it verbally, but
I see it in their eyes; guilty conscience, huh? So every moment that
I approach a group of people, I would inwardly pray to God that no one should
ask me where I come from. The more I pray, the more I will be asked, and the
more I try to explain about peace.
Another group with its view, the masses, often
ask me odd questions. Unlike Uganda, where we are mostly called “Musudani,”
this part of the world differs. Here you can be called Salva Kiir or Riek
Machar. By the way, these two parts of the world have one thing in common, and
they still don’t differentiate between SUDAN, SOUTH SUDAN AND SOUTHERN SUDAN,
OR SUDANESE, AND SOUTHERN SUDANESE OR SOUTH SUDANESE. I also always bother
myself to explain that Southern Sudan faded off since 9th July
2011, but because this won’t make any sense with this stench on our back, I can
shrug it off and move away. One day, I was taken aback when someone who had
gladly bought something from his shop asked me, “Are you Salva Kiir or Riak
Machar?” I was surprised to hear the question because I had no physical
features that would make him mistake me for either. I replied that I am neither
of them, but they are my leaders; however, deep down in my gut, I was burning
in the flame of anger because that was such a sarcastic question to ask, but in
an attempt to suppress my anger and to prove to him that we are not arrogant
and war minded creatures on this planet, I gave him a reckless smile and told
him that the guys he mentioned have large shoes that I wouldn’t even fit in. in
other words, they are leaders, and I am an ordinary member of society.
There is always this question which nags me a
lot “why are you guys fighting each other?” sincerely, I always have no perfect
answer for that because God knows in heaven that I have never fought anyone nor
have I taken part in the war they are alluding to, but what else can I do? For
the virtue of being a South Sudanese, I have birthmarks of arrogance and war
minded on me. I would tell them that I have no slightest hint of why they have
been fighting, and I have never participated in that war. Whenever this
question pops up, the arrogance and war-minded birthmarks spirit in me rebels,
making my pressure rise millions of times and miles above sea level, and
gallons of adrenaline discharge into my blood vessels, and this heat pumps
through my ears and by a brain that would make them erupt with volcanic lava
that would burn the one who asks the question. Thanks to the Providence
that the whole episode only takes one second, and when my pressure drops and
the volcano eruption subsides, I would say, “God will heal my country, and
you also pray for us.”
Despite all these, I have observed beautiful
things here, including the courtesy and warmth I receive daily from the locals.
Like in Uganda, a smiling face greets you with words like “Jebale ko
Ssebo/Nyabo”, a Luganda word which means well done, Sir/Madam; even when you
are not sure what they have done well, people say it to show love and respect.
Here people would say Jambo! Mambo? Every time and it sounds
sweet. In this case, I always get confused; I would say the opposite
to stay on the same truck whenever someone says, “Jambo! Mambo?” I would say
Hello, I am fine. Instead of saying Jambo! And Puo Sana. And when they say
Hello! How are you? I would switch to Puo Sana, thinking that they said Jambo!
Mambo…
I enjoy my stay here,
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